During the time I lived in Wisconsin, I must have seen 100 deer pass through my yard. They are beautiful, graceful, and majestic creatures, but I never really felt compelled to draw one. Then something happened that changed both my mind and my life.
I got sick--really, really sick. My doctor told me that the excruciating pain in my lymph nodes, the night sweats, and the inability to do more than feed my cats during the day was due to mono "which was going around." I couldn't figure out how I could have gotten mono, but I trusted my doctor and believed that a few weeks of bed rest and lots of fluids would have me right as rain.
Instead, a few weeks later, I was suffering from a whole other round of symptoms. To make a long story short, a few months, hundreds of tests, and five doctors later, I finally found a doctor who was willing to ignore the test results and make a clinical diagnosis. I had Lyme's disease. In fact, I was well into Stage 2 of the disease. I already knew that I was allergic to two of the antibiotics most likely to cure my illness, and it didn't take long to establish that I was also allergic to the third. Thankfully, my doctor has seen this before and prescribed a book that detailed a regimen of herbs, vitamins, and lifestyle changes that would help my body beat this ugly bacteria into submission. It took a few more months, but I went from laying on the couch wishing I would die to sitting at my window watching the deer graze in my backyard.
Stage 2 Lyme disease is defined by the fact that the bacteria has begun attacking the nervous system. My doctor informed me that while my neurological damage was mild, it was irreparable. My short term memory is shot all to hell, my sense of direction comes and goes at will, my balance is no good. Some days I can't string a sentence together. Other days I walk into door frames or bounce off of the furniture as I make my way through the house. Just yesterday, I went to get my hair cut, and on the way there, I was overcome by a moment of disorientation, so that I had to pull over and wait for it to pass. Thankfully, these moments are few and far between, but when I experience them, it is like being drunk, I am suddenly very tired, and sometimes I forget where I am and where I am going. Because of them, I no longer leave the immediate area surrounding my home by myself. This is my life since Lyme's.
The above drawing is also part of my life since Lyme's. I joined a support group for people who are suffering the long term effects of this misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and mistreated disease. A fellow member put together a charity auction to help fund research. The auction was in Minnesota, so I wanted a subject that would sell well there. This drawing isn't fabulous. My hand-eye coordination was still off at the time, and frankly deer just aren't my thing. But, sometimes you have to step out of yourself and do something for someone else, for a greater good maybe.
